An Iguana on a Motorcycle

Bing Photo

I tried to find the actual photo of “Draco”, who appeared on Animal Planet’s Pet Stars on February 19, 2003. In case you have never seen the show, it is basically a talent show for pets. On this particular episode, Draco’s Competition was a bird. The bird’s owner set up a bunch of rings around the audience, let the bird go, the bird flew through the rings, and back to the owner. Draco, on the other hand, was adorned with a black leather motorcycle jacket, and he rode an iguana sized motorcycle. For the end of the show, a panel of celebrity judges pick the winner. And the winner was….. the bird. Now, how in the world did a bird, who flew, win, in a talent competition, against an iguana, who rode a motorcycle? That’s funny.

Graphite Portraits by Commission

Behold! This is the graphite portrait I drew years ago of George Burns!

I will do portraits by commission. If you have a photo that you would like to see reproduced, let me know!

Techniques for Winning Cooperation With Children

This is part of a research paper that I did on Parenting a couple years ago. I mentioned it to a friend recently, and she said she would like to see it. It s all common sense, unfortunately we do not always respond to our children with common sense, especially when we are frustrated. This is a battle that I fight daily, and maybe reading these again will help me remember them in the heat of the moment too. All of these tips appeared in an article by Dolgoff in 2009.

 

 

Techniques for Winning the Cooperation of Children

• Do-Over's: 
• Children generally know what they are doing wrong, using this technique gives them the chance to change their choices and act in a way that instills pride.
• Add a Dollop of Guilt:
•  Explaining to your child that they should not fondle the all the fruit in the grocery store because that sneeze may mean she is getting sick, and she would make others sick by touching their fruit, gives a child a good reason to stop and also think about how their actions affect others.
• Hover:
• If he knows your onto him, maybe he will stop; a gentle reminder of your presence through your calm assertive energy can deter bad behavior.
• Get on your Knees:
• Getting down to their level can change it from a huge scary interaction to a direct conversation.
• Channel their Superpowers:
• For a child who can not sit still, Energy can be their Superpower. Then find a way to use their Superpower for good not evil. Then, getting children to cooperate can be as easy as reminding them to use their superpowers correctly.
• Change Go to Come:
• Accompanied with touch, asking a child to come with you to do a desired behavior, like sitting down to dinner, can change tone from resistance to cooperation.
• Be Assertive:
• Stand up straight and let them know what is going to happen; transferring your energy in a calm assertive way, leaves no doubt who is in charge.
• Say their Name first:
• Especially for children who do not listen well when asked the first time, saying their name at the beginning of your request, along with closing your proximity is hard to ignore.
• Let them swap Chores:
• Giving children the freedom to swap and negotiate chores with siblings can help children feel empowered.
• Give them a piece of the Rock:
• Finding a skill that your child is good at and making that one particular skill that child's "job" wins cooperation because the child is not working for a particular reward. the reward in the deal is a sense of accomplishment that lends itself to increasing self-esteem and a feeling of respect toward the parent, who should always follow up with a sincere "Thank You"
• Countdown to Lift Off:
• Giving children a backwards schedule countdown assures you get out the door in time, and also gives the child who is never ready to go, and idea of what to expect. It is as simple as "John, we must leave in fifteen minutes" then ten minutes, and so on.

 



PUSHING Cattle

Most of us probably have a similar one; I have a Crazy Aunt, Esther. Esther is CRAZY! She is the family Drama Queen, and she always goes wide open.  Unanimously loved by children becasue she is the one who will turn the whole house into a fort and play in it with you. She also has a great big heart and will lay you out flat for messin with her family or friends. Now, my Aunt Esther is a lot of things, but what I love most about her is, when you need her, she will come runnin'. In fact, it's her dedication that makes this one so funny. Well, I thought it was funny!

We live in a Horse Community, the luckiest of you know what I am talking about. It is like a Network, where we all help each other. That being said, my Aunt and I have mutual friends who Chuckwagon Race. Now that is fun stuff, and it was the Finals. Normally Esther would have been there hollering her very loyal support at the top of her lungs, but this particular year, she was on crutches. So, instead, she was commissioned to watch after the farms of two sets of mutual friends. She house sat at one farm, and feed critters and did the daily chores at both.

Early one morning, there was a knock at the door. The Sheriff's Deputy explained that the cows were out at the other, more remote, farm. She grabbed her purse, and crutches, and got in the car. Yes. I said car. I think this is the funniest part, because as she is telling me this story, I have a very vivid picture in my mind of a wild woman, with crazy hair, searching for stray cows, speeding down dirt roads, jumping ditches in the Maxima, hobbling around and flapping her crutches at the cows  like a Dodo Bird.

The cows, apparently happy with their freedom, did not want to get back in the pasture, so it took most of the day and well into the afternoon to get them all rounded back up. Exhausted, overheated, sunburned, and leavin an ass trail, she went back to the other farm, to take a nap. Later, there was a knock at the door. This time, the Deputy came to explain that those were not our friends cows!

Walking Betsy

Recently, I found myself in the position of needing pasture for my horses.  I finally talked my dad into letting them on his small acreage until I found them different accommodations. Things all set, It was time to move them.

Now, moving horses sounds simple, right? Well, neither of them had seen a trailer in over a year and the youngest, my mare, Betsy, had only seen two or three in her life. Betsy, is the smartest horse I've had the pleasure of knowing. She's very curious, plays with dogs, and can unlatch any gate lock. When she was pastured with cows, she would claim a calf every spring and make it go everywhere with her. I bet she is a leo. The first time she saw a trailer, she stepped up into the trailer, looked around as if to say "What is this? I think I will check it out", loaded completely, sniffed everything and settled in for a ride. Of course, I also had the assistance of a veteran Cowgirl friend of mine, and a huge three horse slant, which probably helped.

On Saturday evening, we pulled my little two horse trailer over to get them. The gelding loaded, with hesitation, but Betsy would not. It was getting dark, so we left with him, and decided she would have to wait until tomorrow. That night, I thought about the whole situation, and decided it was time to take that horse trainer up on his offer. Instead of bringing her home, she would go to his house for a little thirty day crash course. Besides, he was down the road from where she was, so if she wouldn't load, I could  lead her there. Brilliant!

Sunday morning, bright and early we head out. On the way there I explained the plan. We will catch her, then, I will work her and get her into a thinking state of mind. This would have to be done with a lounge line, since I did not have a round pen, which I prefer. Betsy and I had both worked in a round pen, and up to this point I was under the firm belief the only reason to lounge a horse is if you had no round pen. Unfortunately, I did not follow John Lyons advice when he said, its no matter, your horse should lounge for soundness. Then I would employ a tactic I saw a horse trainer do over in Memphis. I would bring her around on the line and into the trailer door. Now, the first round, she probably won't go in, but with repetition, this should work. We also had plan B remember?

We got to the pasture, caught the horse, and we begin learning to lounge.  We move to the rear of the trailer, and I sent her around with my training stick, which I began to realize gets heavier with use, and she stops in the door of the trailer. That's great! Let's do it again. After a while, she would stop, in the door, with her chest stretched as far into the trailer as she could get it without her having to lift her feet off of the ground. My daughter, who actually belongs to the horse offered to do a few repetitions. How could I say no? Im outta shape, I need a drink, and my arms were killing me. Well, During the time I got a drink of water and returned to the back of the trailer, my daughter had un-trained this horse on lounging completely! During this minute, the horse had figured out that if you place your body just right the person holding the rope,  CANNOT make you go. This epic fail made trying to send her around with a training stick like pushing mercury with a stick of firewood. Okay, plan B. I immediately unhooked the trailer, changed her halter, let down the tailgate, had a seat, and away we went. The second time she stopped and pulled me off the tailgate, I decided to just walk and lead her. The trainer just lived down the road. I had been down this road a million times in my truck; it only takes a few minutes, end-to-end. Smile.

Mile 1: She was HAPPPPYYY! She was getting to see the neighborhood, visit with other critters she could only speak to from a distance. This was great! She played with dogs, shyed away from mailboxes, and announced our parade with a good hearted winnie every few minutes.

Mile 4: Betsy began to wonder when we were gonna turn around and head back, and she started getting slower. 

Mile 6: My daughter decided to walk with us. This very nice gesture led to my daughter falling behind and Betsy agreeing with her that there was no hurry. So, now instead of leading Betsy, Im pulling, Both of them.

Mile 7: I manage to convience my daughter the truck was the place to be. We picked up the pace a little.

Mile 8:  I am dirty, hot, tired, sweaty, sunburned, wind burned, and dog tired. This is the most exercise I have had in a while. Still yet, I felt good. It was a nice walk, a pretty day, lots of time to think, and I can see the house, across the way. Awww the finshline. I'm smiling.

Betsy, on the other hand, was sweaty, hot, lathered up, feet hurtin',with her nose getting closer and closer to the ground, she looked like she couldn't go one more step. She was so excited in the beginning, now she had done more work than she had in months and she was just plain tired. As we turned into the driveway she perked up and got interested. She raised her head and her ears. Curiously, she was taking note of this new place. Up the drive, I was directed to place her in a paddock right next to a younger mare. I thanked the man, warned him to keep her locked up tight, and headed home. As we drove back down the drive I thought, Yeah, Betsy probably got in the stall, all jellified and worn slap out, and I hope she turned to that younger mare and said, "Whew! Dang. How far did you have to walk to get here?", and I hope that mare said "I got in the trailer!"

Mr. Lee

Mr. Lee was born in 1946, out in the country. He was never sent to school; he never learned to read and write. Perfectly able to work, he does, and will help anyone do anything they need doing. You can insert your favorite politically correct term here, but Mr. Lee is special. He doesn't talk too plain, but once you get to know him, conversations are a breeze. Most folks that know him understand he is good as gold, and remarkably, by his own admission, rarely has a bad day.

One day Mr. Lee asked me to help him sell his aluminum cans. You see, while he walk and visits in the community, he picks up cans and stores them in 55gal drums, until he has a pick-up truck load. This particular Spring day was breezy and a little chilly, I wore a button-up shirt as an extra layer. I arrived at his house, backed the truck up to the cans, got out of the truck, slid my phone in the breast pocket of my button-up shirt, and Mr. Lee and I started loading cans. With almost all of the cans loaded, we were down to the bottom of the barrels where rain water had accumulated and a few cans were floating. As I bent over and reached into the barrel, to the very bottom, after the stragglers, my smart phone slid out of my pocket and .... SPLASH, BLUB BLUB all the way to the bottom. With cat-like reflexes, I snatched it up, tore it apart, and threw it on the dash in the sunshine to dry.

The thought of the very expensive flooded smart phone really got to me. I began to curse as we finished with the aluminum. With all the cans loaded, still cussing, I got in the truck, and Mr. Lee and I headed off to the scrap yard. Going down the road, with me still ranting, Mr. Lee looked at me and spoke the first words he said since the horrible splash of the phone in the barrel. He said "Ashley?". I calmed myself so as not to speak harshly to him in my frustration, then I said "Yes Lee?" To that he replied " ya ya  you gotta button on your pa pocket."